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TFI Friday

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Chris So signor, we stopped the show for you, you're a show stopper how does that feel?

Alan Different, different. I've been in traffic for the last hour.

Chris I'm just going to ask the audience, aren't you glad it's Alan and not Lennox (Lewis)?

Alan Well, I actually heard that I was a substitute for Lennox. I've never ever wanted to be a
substitute, but a substitute for Lennox, yeah that's alright.

Chris Never in your life? Now listen, you've been doing this show this millionaire football thing.

Alan Football Millionaires

Chris Now, I didn't see it

Alan You didn't see it!

Chris It was on St Patrick's day, I was out, I was slaughtering all over the place. But were
you chosen to do this because you're a bit bitter because they earn loads and you never did?

Alan Oh No

Chris And because you're Scottish and well, not the Scots, but you definitely for being tight,

Alan They took that into it, but every time I've ever been with you I've bought the first round.

Chris That's right, but I've bought the next nine, that's the thing.
Alan You've never, ever bought me a round! No, they asked me to do it because we tried to have a look at the players of the 80's & 70's, and obviously I played in the 80's, and the way the players are now and we got some big names, we got Beckham, Owen and Shearer, and the money now is 10 times what I earned.

Chris Ginola was in it as well wasn't he?

Alan Yes, he was the star in it.

Chris So how did you get on with them all?

Alan I thought they were all terrific, no honestly. Every one of them. Shearer was terrific, I mean I've played golf with Shearer about half a dozen times and obviously when the cameras are on them, they are all very defensive about what they say. They go into that mode, especially Shearer, when they give nothing away, but you play golf with them and you have a great time. Great sense of humour, I asked him about Michael Owen and the goal against Argentina and he started by saying 'Well I took 2 defenders away'  As you would, I just looked at him and he started to laugh. But then centre forwards are like that, they take the credit for everything. Michael Owen was terrific, Beckham was terrific, we had a lot of trouble getting Beckham.

Chris Well he was busy, he was going to be a daddy.

Alan And he doesn't do a lot of interviews, but I had 4 or 6 hours with him, and he's a nice fella.

Chris 
But you and Beckham together, not that is a picture of beauty I feel.

Alan  Well the only thing is he's 23 I'm 44. He's a superstar and I'm a (screws up face)

Member of Audience Has Been!

Chris Who said that, who said Has Been He's not a Has Been

Alan Oh my goodness, has been!!

Chris Boo, boo you (pointing to member of audience) Boo You.

Alan He's a multimillionaire and I'm.. Well I'm getting there! He goes out with one of the Spice Girls, but I've got the best looking wife in the world.

Chris  Well that's all that matters, and I've net Alan's wife and they have a very happy family situation going on there and you just want to be part of it. You want to be everybody's uncle when you go to Alan's living room, and I've been there. Do you think you are as good as Andy Gray?

Alan What as a pundit? I don't think I'm as good an all-rounder, I mean he does commentary as well and I don't do commentary because I was never comfortable doing commentary. I was quite happy sitting in a studio with Des and letting him ask me nice questions.

Chris It's like a gentleman's club there isn't it?

Alan Um, similar. He is so good that you can't take Des on because he is so sharp. Off screen you can take him on, sometimes he says thing like 'that player will be an England player' and you are like 'What' but that's off screen, on screen he's too quick.

Chris He's a killer. So when are you and Des going to sign for Sky?

Alan Sign for Sky! I've been in a car for an hour and a half and you said you would give me an easy time.

Chris  OK that's not a fair question.

Alan I'm going to be at the BBC for as long as they have Match of the Day. As long as they have Match of the Day I'll be there.

Chris OK that's not a fair question, so I'll ask you a fairer question. Do you think Gary Linekar is getting any better on TV?

Alan Gary Linekar is very good at what he does.

Chris I know, I'm just asking you a simple question! I don't know what the problem is, do you think he's getting any better?

Alan He's always been good at what he does.

Chris  Do you think he's any better than he was?

Alan Well I think the longer you are in television the better you get

Chris  Well I hope so, I hope so!

Alan  I used to be a footballer, and when the cameras were on me I'd give it the diplomatic mode.

Chris  Do you think you'll be around and the game will be around to see the first hundred million pound signing?

Alan I don't think that will happen. I think players may earn a hundred million pounds, but there won't  be a signing. It will all go to wages, and the thing is you can't blame the players. If somebody said to you take a cut in wages and earn 50,000 a week, and that would be a cut for you. But if you were on 20,000 a week and somebody offered you 50,000 everybody would take it, you can't blame the players.

Chris Football in a good way, going in the right direction?

Alan I think its fantastic, I mean the product at the minute has never been better. When the Premiership came up, everybody said that because there is so much live football on TV, crowds would dwindle, but that hasn't happened. If you try and get a ticket to the big games you can't get one for love nor money. If TV were ever to pull the plug then it might be in trouble, but that won't happen. Football is  fashion, its big business.

Chris  And we love football, don't we everyone. That's all we have time for, stay on our screens forever Alan.